MyWhat?

12.14.06

Let me be the first to stand up and say, “Yes,  I could be a member of the IAA” (Internet Addicts Anonymous).  Hell, maybe I could be the founding member… It’s odd, really, how I’m pretty much the same amount of social as I am of shyness (Ahem.  Those of you laughing at me right now, stop it!)

 

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; I love my computer.  I love the opportunity to get to know people via Instant Messenger, MySpace, email groups, and assorted blogs.  I love it.  Have an interest?  Have a hobby?  You can hook up with individuals and groups and instantly have something to talk about.  Oh, you have an obsession?  Other people out there who would love to chat with you about global warming until the world actually explodes. 

 

There’s a misguided notion out there that computer geeks are anti-social, but the truth is that the internet can be an incredibly social way to pass time.

 

I chit-chat with a lot of people.  Say “hello” to me and I’ll talk.  I tell stories, talk about life experiences,  my work… whatever.  So long as a person I’m talkingto doesn’t get grossly inappropriate or tediously boring, I’m more than happy to hold up my end of a conversation.

 

I do set some limits, though.  For instance: I don’t share photos.  Why should I?  I’m blissfully married and I want to stay that way.  I don’t need to see pictures, and I don’t want to send any.  Photos seem completely irrelevant to any conversation I’m having with a stranger.  After several months of gabbing with someone who regularly makes me laugh I might cough up a snapshot of my fully-clothed self.  Might.  Then again, I might not.  I also don’t give out my full name, address or my telephone number.  Heck, I shy away from even admitting exactly which city in the Duluth/Superior area I live in. 

 

I’ve made a couple of exceptions to these limits – my MySpace has one recognizable photograph of me.  But I don’t tell just anybody how to find me on MySpace, either, and certainly I don’t make it public information to the people I gab with on message boards, blogs, or yahoo messenger.  The other exception is group of nine women that I met on a message board in 2005.  We consider one another “real” friends and have sent gifts and cards to one another via snail mail, and talked on the telephone now and again.  Most of us will be meeting in New York City in January for a fun-filled crazy girls’ weekend.  I haven’t met any of these women in person but quite a few of them have met eachother.  And I’m bringing my husband.  I know they are real women and real people and not internet stalkers.  But I’m still bringing my husband.  Besides, he wants to check out NYC.

 

Be smart on the internet, and be safe.  If someone offends you, or acts bizarrely or doesn’t respect your limits of conversation, go ahead and X out of the chat window.  If  someone verbally abuses you, X out of the chat window.  It’s a simple click. 

 

It may sound crazy, but it’s not hard to invest your emotions in on-line friendships.  The computer offers a sense of safety and anonymity and for someone who likes to gab (and can also type) it’s easy to make internet friends.  Just remember to hold your personal information close.   And be aware that anything you type can be saved, printed, archived, etc. and your own words can be used to hurt you, if someone chooses to do so.  And it can hurt like you lost a real friend. 

 

And remember this, too… online chemistry is totally different from in-person chemistry.  Once in a while I meet people I’ve had fun internet conversations with and they’ve not been what I expected.  Most of the time I find I do not like them at all.  In fact, this has kind of happened to me often enough that for the past few months I’ve been talking to RL friends on this here machine and avoiding strangers.  And it’s been fun.  Talking via computer seems to accelerate the “getting to know you” process in RL friendships.  And let me tell you – it’s an absolute blast. The moral of this week’s column?

 

Sometimes it’s fun to talk to strange people.  But sometimes they turn out to be just way too strange.