One Bad Day

5.31.07

It was just one of those days.

 

If you know of Alexander and Australia you know what I’m talking about.

 

The day kicked off when I tied the dog to the chain and she saw a rabbit that I didn’t see.  My sleep-slowed body couldn’t react in time to avoid being clothes-lined by a cable across the ankles.  It might have been funny to an observer seeing me face-down in the doo-littered, dew-wet grass… but my ankles were too shredded for laughter to be a feasible option. 

 

Slew of naughty words, however, well that was no problem.

 

My day ended when I reached the car moments before it started to pour.  And dug through my purse in a frenzy until I realized my keys were in my locker at work.  Three blocks away.  By the time I retrieved them the rain had reached downpour proportions, and you know what?  I didn’t waste a moment’s thought on waiting the storm out.  From the very beginning of this day I was meant to get pummeled by the pouring rain.  In fact, walking those three blocks for the third time I wouldn’t have been surprised by hail.  I do carry an umbrella.  Really.  I keep it in mycar.  Once again I didn’t find laughter to be a feasible option.  And I was too resigned to cuss.

 

I’m not even going to talk about the work day that occurred in between those two events, because and there’s not a darn thing I can do to make it funny, so really, what would be the point?

 

Suffice to say it was one of those days where nothing could possibly go right.

 

And believe me, I tried, I really did.  I bought an expensive gourmet coffee.  I ingested really great chocolate.  I smiled.  I laughed.  My internal attitude remained negative 10 on the scale of 0 to Rotten-to-the-core.

 

I had to pick up two prescriptions for Chantix at two different pharmacies.  They were, of course, supposed to be at the same pharmacy.  Ha-ha.  And if that wasn’t bad enough, my husband said, “Let’s start it on Saturday.”  Which equals NOT smoking a week from Saturday.  Gosh, sweetie, I was thinking more like the middle of June.  Ah well, in for  a penny, in for a pound, right?  I think that’s kind of what that saying means – just jump in all the way, go for it, git ‘er done, no holds barred.

 

7 pm found me asleep on the couch.  I woke up at 9 to put my child to bed.  I think she jumped on me to wake me up a couple of times in there, but perhaps my eyes betrayed my state of sheer defeat and mostly she let me sleep.  Daddy was home – that’s always good entertainment because daddies play differently than mommies.

 

I think she went right to sleep, but I can’t be sure because the whole evening is a blur in my memory.  I went right to sleep after reading her stories and tucking her in.  I do remember that. 

 

At 5:30 the next morning I sat in the kitchen drinking coffee, fiddling my cell phone like a worry stone, and reviewing my body-systems.  Head: check.  Stomach: check.  Clock: check.  Double-check – it’s too late to call in sick even if I could think of a good excuse.  I mean, flu or food poisoning… well, I’d have noticed those before now – like maybe in time for them to find a replacement for me.  Damn, damn, damn.  Am I allowed to call in with a bad attitude?  Ah, wait a minute… Sense of Humor: Check!  Oh yeah, now I can go to work with gusto.

 

It’s amazing how miserable a person can be when they lose their sense of humor.  I’m glad I found mine again – it makes the days so much more fun.  My sense of humor was apparently buried under a pile of “lack of sleep.”  I’ll try to watch out for that before I have a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

 

Sometimes you can laugh.  Sometimes you realize you stuffed your ability to laugh in the glove compartment and then locked your keys in the car.  But don’t worry, you can always call Dave’s Towing.