Real Life

09.07.06

Let’s talk about stubbornness and staying power, shall we?  I know I’ve talked about how difficult it is to get Little Miss to go to sleep, and how difficult it is to get her to eat, and how difficult it was to get her potty trained…

 

But, you know, tenacity is a good thing in this here thing called life.  It helps us maintain hope and move past the roadblocks in the path of our goals.  It helps us discover or create detours when the problems of life get in the way of living.

 

So while my child’s having a mind of her own often pushes me to the edge of frustration, it’s not a bad quality in a person.  And when I’m all set to blow my top she shuts me right down when she asks, “Why are you mad, Mom?”  Because then I realize  I’m irritated that she’s doing things HER way rather than MY way, but the end result will probably be the same, so ultimately what’s the difference?  That kind of puts it all into perspective.

 

If you’re going to live a real and full life and pursue dreams I think you need tenacity.  Fulfilling dreams isn’t easy, because the hum drum routine of Real Life is always getting in the way.

 

What is this thing called Real Life (RL), anyway?

 

When I was a kid I thought real life was being a grown up and being allowed to order in pizza every night if that's what I wanted to do.  Eating ice cream for breakfast.  Driving a car.  You know, all that grown-up stuff.  THAT would be Real Life, and I couldn't wait to get there.

 

And then I did finally get there.  And discovered that my infinite love of pizza had to be reconciled with a checkbook that could mostly only afford Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. Whoa.  Real Life won that round. 

 

In high school and in my early 20's I was very angsty about people who had, took, or created the opportunity to leave this town.  I was always sad to be left behind, melancholy, lonely, and jealous.  I got the idea in my head that Real Life would begin if only I could move to someplace other than here.

 

And then I left.  And I discovered that Real Life is nothing much more than the routine of daily living, and that a person can get bored and lonely and restless away from here, too.  In fact, it was only a matter of weeks before my sense of adventure wore off and I realized that what's real is that life is a series of problems and solutions, whether they be large or small.

 

Hmm.  By age 30 I became aware that we all wear social faces and "masks" to some degree, and I started thinking RL was all the crazy stories going on inside my head all the time.  Which is patently ridiculous, because how can the fantasies in my head be any more real than the fantasies people type to one another in online chat rooms?  Right.  They're not.  The inside-my-head-me only becomes part of Real Life when I let a little bit of it out.  To Real People.  In my Real Life.

Which is a) terrifying b) risky and c) sublime.

 

Which brings me back to tenacity and dreams.  I want to publish a novel.  I have a great new online subscription to the Writer’s Market and every day I email novel queries to agents and publishers and every day I get email rejections.  Hmph.  It’s not fun, but at least it’s fast.  A few things are important for a writer:  finding value in constructive criticism, being able to look at your work objectively, growing a thick skin, and staying power.  Keep swimming, just keep swimming – oh, I mean, keep sending, just keep sending, sending, sending.

 

Anybody want to represent or publish a strange quirky vampire novel?  Let me know.