Show up for life

09.14.06

So I’m writing this column on the anniversary of 9-11.  I guess I could snark about the surge of patriotism back then that somehow seems to have weakened the independent spirit of Americans and turned us into lemmings blindly following a weasel to ruination.   But I won’t.  Because who wants to hear my ignorant snarking, anyway?

 

I didn’t have a friend or family member in the World Trade Center on 9-11.  And I haven’t lost anyone in the endlessly complicated War on Iraq.  I say “endlessly complicated” purely to give the benefit of the doubt to our fearless leaders and those in the military who take their orders with the spirit of protecting We the People. 

 

What I see and feel as a simple American trying to live my life is this:  since 911 I can barely afford to drive my car so I can work to support myself, or to heat my house so I can survive in this iceberg we call Duluth.  And this makes me angry because I have a gleaningsuspicion that our Fearless Leader is making money hand over fist because I and millions upon millions of others in my position are forking it over for various types of fuel. 

 

I am terrible at understanding politics.  And I am the first to admit my ignorance.  But I am not one to follow blindly in the interest of being Protected.  When an American born citizen with no criminal record whatsoever gets pulled out of every line for every flight he takes for a specialized search because he happens to have a Middle Eastern name I feel angry.  When I read that people are being investigated and harassed by the Department of Homeland Security because they put bumper stickers on their car protesting the government and the damn Iraq war, I feel angry.

 

America is supposed to be a land of independent people, free-thinkers, a place where individuality is prized and cherished.

 

This is the spirit that I embrace.  I’m not going to hate a group of people because the government tells me I should.  I’m not going to change my religion or style of worship because the (conservative) government encourages me to do so.  I am Christian or Pagan or Agnostic or Atheist or Buddhist or Jewish or nothing purely based on what feels right to me, not because I am a citizen of the Conservative Christian United States of America.

 

I embrace people’s right to be gay or lesbian or goth or punk or straight or conservative or liberal or beautiful or ugly or fat or thin.  Trust me on this one, folks, what they do has very little impact on how I live my daily life.  I get up, I go to work, I write stories and columns and novels.  I spend time with my child and cherish her strong-willed personality, I teach her good manners.  I teach her by example, I hope, to value doing good work and to be kind.  And I respect her right to have thoughts in her head that are different from mine.  And I respect that her perceptions of things are different from mine even while I spend so much time keeping her safe.

 

A stranger says, “Hi,” to my girl and she says, “Hi!” back.  And then she wants to follow that person down the street.  I say, “We can’t.  We don’t know that person.”  And she says, “But I do, Mom.” 

 

Difference in perception.  Her limited experience as a 3 year old has taught her that anyone with a friendly smile and a “Hi,” is a friend.  And thank goodness for that!  It means she hasn’t been abused, or damaged, or betrayed, or hurt.  Would that I could keep it that way for the whole of her lifetime.

 

Of course I can’t.  As humans we crave emotional connection with other humans, and when we allow ourselves to have it we then open ourselves to the possibility of loss.  Loss not only through death, but through death of relationships, misunderstanding, miscommunications, mistakes.  When we love we have the capacity to hurt.

 

I hope people took time on 911 to appreciate what’s good in their lives rather than to bemoan how much we pay for fuel.  The only way to fix that one, folks, is to get out there and vote whenever you have the opportunity to do so, for whichever offices are holding elections.  This is our country and our lives and we need to show up.