03.02.06
The Little Miss and I were cleaning the house recently (okay, it was today), which is a rarity around here, occurring pretty much only when we expect someone to come over (did I say that out loud?) Anyway, This morning I looked at the entertainment center and thought, “Holy film of dust evilness,” and decided to get busy. The mess is worse than usual because of tooth pain in February, the “crud” going around in January, and a tattoo infection in December.
Now I know everybody these days makes jokes about the remote control – how you have to hide it to get your husband’s attention, and how you need a decorative basket in the living room to put them in because every electronic doo-hickey you buy comes with one … but really!
I wonder if anyone could possibly guess how many remote control devices I found in my living room today?
Okay, I won’t make you guess. I’ll just tell you. Eight.
There are eight remote controls tuckedin and around the VCR, DVD/surround sound/tuner, playstation, and cable box. Eight. E-I-G-H-T (consider this your spelling lesson of the day).
Let me tell you how many of them we actually use – and believe me, this is ridiculous enough. There’s one we need to change the channel of the TV so we can use the VCR for VHS tapes. That same one also needs to be used to change the “input select” on the TV to play DVDs in the DVD/surround sound/tuner thingy. Then there’s a whole separate remote required to actually make the DVD/surround sound/tuner play anything. And another one for the cable box. There should be one for the VCR, too, but apparently that one really is lost (maybe inside the couch?) because it wasn’t one of the eight found today. Which means technically I should have found nine.
Sigh. Oh, and before moving on, let me just mention that somehow the DVD/surround sound/ tuner became disconnected from the little speakers, eight of them, in fact, that are wired to all points of the living room. So even after finding all the required remote controls I still can’t make that work. I’d try, but one glance behind that entertainment center sends me running to check that my house insurance is paid up. There’s no way I’d ever make sense of the spaghetti back there.
I wonder if there’s actually a remote control for each speaker? That might explain things.
The main thing I’m wondering is this: What is it that stops me from throwing the extra remote controls in the garbage? In the little pile of remotes we don’t use is one for Dish Network. We haven’t had Dish Network in well over a year. There’s also one for a Sony something, but I looked all over the house and no Sony lives here. Zenith, yes. Magnavox, yes. Symphonic, General Instruments … yes. Sorry, no Sony.
Now I have a clean living room and a few remote controls. Tomorrow I’ll tackle another room.
Now, Little Miss, it’s time for your nap.
What? Food?
Oh dear, it’s noon and we haven’t eaten anything yet. Goodthing I have a daughter. I might starve to death otherwise.
Sometimes you win, sometimes you don’t. And sometimes you have way too many remote controls.
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