Protecting Everychild

 

04.27.06

            We all want our children to be liked by everybody all of the time, right?

            As her parent, I am convinced that my Little Miss is the smartest, the cutest, and the most charming little person in the whole world.  My husband and I were enamored of her from the first moment.  We kept saying to one another, “She really is exceptional, isn’t she?  We’d notice if she were homely, right?”

            Yeah, sure we would.

            I am amazed as she grows and I realize she not only has unique thoughts and ideas, but also her own brand of wit.  She is such a little girl now –  a baby no longer.

            A week or so ago I noticed a night light in the wall plug in her bedroom.  I’d bought it for her several months ago when she graduated from a crib to a bed, but ended up removing it because I could not convince her to leave it alone.  I asked her if Daddy plugged it in for her.  She said, “No, me did it.”  She pulled the light out of the outlet and waved it in the air. With a very serious voice she said,  “This is not a toy, Mom,” and then plugged it back in again.

            This morning we were talking about how Daddy was actually Super Daddy this weekend because he put up a new swing-set on Saturday and took her to the circus on Sunday.  My husband started singing the old Cosby favorite; “Dad is great!  He feeds us chocolate cake!” and my Little Miss looked at me, grinned, and said, “But you not great, Mom. I need a new Mama.”

            Ow!  Talk about a stab through the heart.  Thanks a lot, kid.

            My point is all these little things just make my love for her bigger.  I want her life to be perfect.

            And of course I know that’s not reality.

            Nobody is loved everywhere by everybody.

            So my thoughts turn to wondering how I can protect her from bullies and bitches (nowadays called Queen B’s), from being teased, mocked, or, heaven forbid, ignored?  What defense can I give my precious one against the inevitable trials of living her life?

            So you want to hear what I figured out?

            I will instill in her a strong sense of self.  I will continue to tell her how lucky I am that she is my daughter.  I will love her unconditionally.  I will validate her ideas and take time to listen to them.  I will try not to laugh out loud the next time she says, “This is not a toy, Mom.” 

            I want  her to think outside the box, veer away from the mainstream, and piss off the Queen B because she doesn’t care if she follows the crowd or if the crowd follows her.

            This I give you, my daughter – you are unique in this world, and not everybody will like you, but as long as you like yourself and like being in your own head, who cares?  All will be well. 

            In the words of Elizabeth Stanton, “Nature never repeats herself, and the possibilities of one human soul will never be found in another.”

            Be you.  Be real.  Live large.

            But first get in that bed, you little turkey, because it’s two o’clock in the morning and if you don’t go back to sleep you’re gonna get a spankin.’

 

 

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